Today I finally had another sonogram. I was supposed to have one Tuesday, but that was Christmas so no-go. Then Wednesday came and went so I finally asked and was told Thursday for sure. On Thursday, I was wheeled down the hall to the sono room, waited a while, then the doc came out and said he was way behind to get back to his office and would come after clinic hours. 5:30 rolled around and the nurse came in and said he was backed up again, and would definitely see me Friday. Well sheesh. I mean, the only reason I am here is to have my cervix monitored and and I haven't had it done all week.
But they woke me today at o-dark-thirty and I sat in the wheelchair line again before finally getting my turn.
The doctor (perinatalogist) freaked me out. He was just looking around but didn't seem to be looking at the babies much, just other stuff (I couldn't tell what). Then he starts asking questions - How many weeks are you? Who's your doctor? Have you had your steroid injections yet (used to help mature the babies lungs if they are born too early)? He finally measures my cervix and it has gotten shorter again (not good) so the only comment he makes is that "we are doing the right thing", meaning having me in the hospital. My nurse finally asked him about the heart rates of the babies and he said, "oh, everything is normal". Good grief!
I really haven't stopped crying all day. I'm just so freaked out about having these babies too early. Next week is the point of Viability, meaning they CAN live if they are born. But, it is still SO early, that they have a very high likelihood of having major, even lifelong, complications/problems/damage. With every 1-2 weeks that pass after that point, they're chance of survival and escape from those major problems improves.
I just want to bring home my healthy babies. They are doing so great at this point, if only my stupid body will just cooperate and let them stay in there. You just don't know how hard it is, knowing you're doing everything that you can, and things still happening that seem to be beyond your control.
5:30 Update: OB just came in again (2nd time today; still a partner of MY OB who will be back on Monday; all of the partners have been really great and I'm glad of that) to let me know that she talked with the peri and the other OBs and decided ot put me on a medicine that is used to stop contractions. Now, no, I'm not really having contractions, just occasional cramping or tightening, but they want to try it in case it helps relax my uterus and stop the cervical changes. So at least we're trying something else. She did tell me that I am "a puzzle" as to why this is happening. That scares me a still because these changes are happening without me being aware of it, so there's nothing I can change, monitor, notice at any given moment that gives us a head's up that something might be wrong.
2 comments:
Christy, I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. I had a couple of minor "scares" with Jordan and it feels like you don't know how much more you can physically take. But hang in there girl, you are doing everything you are supposed to and that will make all the difference.
"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning! great isYour faithfulness" Lamentations 3:22-23
"The Lord says, 'I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.'" Pslam 32:8
(((hugs))))
First, I love the scripture Elizabeth left for you. Just perfect. And I have been right where you are! I had my cerclage then was in the hospital at 22 weeks with my triplets. I was on complete bedrest for 3 months but my girls made it to 33 1/2 weeks. I had 8 weeks of betamethasome shots, 9 days of magnesium sulfate (awful stuff), and 3 months of a terbutaline pump all to stop my contractions. You sound VERY similar to my situation. Hang in there, and please e-mail me anytime. You can find me on my blog. Hang in there. It is worth it! Blessings to you and those precious babies!
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