Begging forgiveness and then the good stuff

If I owe you
a call
an email
a note
a thank you
a swift kick in the behind
or money
please forgive me.
It has been a very rough couple of weeks.

While the babies continue to do well and grow, grow, grow, momma has had a very hard time of it. I have grown enormous (sidenote: eventually I will have access to all the belly pictures and be able to post my progress); it's hard to walk, sit, or lie down. Despite the sleeping aid I take nightly, I often only sleep a few hours a night, and not even continuously. I pee constantly. I'm currently down to 45 minutes between pee times, literally, day and night. I have had an increase in contractions (since I'm now 32 weeks and my body thinks I'm about 44 weeks) and often have to get a shot of Terbutaline which is a fun little medicine that makes your heart race and your body shake and generally want to pull your hair out. We have had a couple of "scares" with the babies that, thank God, turned out to be nothing (heartrates going wonky and that sort of thing).

Finances have been a concern since the beginning, and while we have gotten some much needed, much appreciated, much unexpected help, we've dealt with a few setbacks that make the months ahead not look promising. The stress of that has been the proverbial straw -that- broke -the -camel's -back in terms of my mental state. But we [try our best to] continue to have faith that God will provide, though WE can't currently see the way.

Scott has been the most amazing husband and father during this time. I am so thankful to have him to go through this with. But I can tell that he is at his wit's end. He often laments that this "single parent" thing downright sucks. As his partner and their mother, it upsets me to no end to not be there taking care of my husband and children. I have to be continually reminded that it is I alone who can take care of these three future-children at this time.

So, that's why I haven't had it in me to post, call, or email anyone lately.

But, hey, what you really want to know is about these babies, right? So here goes:
Feb 14th measurements: 3-5, 3-7, 3-9; so roughly 3 1/2 lbs each.
Yesterday (Feb 28th): 4 lbs, 4.5 lbs, 5 lbs. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy cow, that's a lot of baby! And just to clarify, Baby A is not small; A and B are "right on track", C is just pretty darn huge.

We have a delivery date: unless they decide they can't wait (or my bladder or uterus give out, lol), I will have a c-section on March 12th. That is my mom's birthday, and I understand quite a few other great people I know have birthdays or anniversaries on that day as well, so I'm pretty optimistic :)
And speaking of giving out, we were pretty well convinced that I was going to have these babies yesterday. When I went in for the ultrasound (mind you, they wake me up early, early - ok, 7:30, lol) I was feeling very crampy and blah and having contractions. After we were all done, my perinatalogist called down to the nurse's station and told them to get me on the monitor (usually this kind of thing is left to the nurse's, mine, or my OB's discretion) and said that it just might be time. Everything was ok with just a few contractions but then I fell asleep and slept all morning. About that time, my OB's partner came in just in time to watch me make faces and have cramps and contractions throughout her short visit.. They monitored me again, but she said she fully expected to be back later in the day to deliver me; I later found out she had called my OB and had her on standby as well. But after most of the day of feeling really cruddy and having bad cramps and painful contractions, they gave me a shot of Terb and got it all slowed down to acceptable levels again. Just when I thought I was going to get my body back....