Poor Baby

As you may have gathered if you are getting to know me through this blog, and as you well know if you know me already - I can handle a lot. I'm pretty easy, pretty resilient. Let's just say I've been through a lot, some of it at a young age, and I've just learned to go with the flow.

There is one thing that I can not handle - seeing my baby in pain. I've always admired and been astounded by parents whose children have chronic problems because I just don't think I could handle it.

Molly developed a "diaper rash" while in the NICU. (I have to be careful how to word this - don't want the freaks coming upon my blog by way of Google searches). Basically, this was no "rash" I, the nurse, my mom (a physician) had ever seen. There were areas of No.Skin. It worsened until I finally called the pediatrician. They listed 20 things I could try, 90% of which I was already doing and it wasn't helping. We did start doing baking soda soaks and tried multiple types of diaper cream. It slowly improved, but now started looking like severe scarring. On mom's recommendation, I made a pediatrician appointment.

The pedi said it was unlike anything she's seen before. She thought it looked like BURNS. (She later consulted a pediatric dermatologist who agreed that yes, it sounded like chemical burns that some babies get from their poop). She's now on antibiotic cream and Triple Paste which we layer "an inch thick". Needless to say, that tiny $8 tube of Triple Paste goes fast.

But the thing is, she Screams. Like she is being tortured, which in a way, she is. She is in such obvious pain that I can barely stand to change her. Since mom has been here most of this week so I can continue to recover, she has been on Molly-duty. I have to be otherwise occupied in the other room because I can't stand to hear her screaming. If I have to change her, I stand there and cry and try to finish as fast as I can. It is torture for a mommy.

We've been saying that if we can get this resolved, not only will she be a happier baby, but a lot of things will go smoother, because she will not constantly be requiring all of our attention. She'll sleep better and eat better and things will just all around improve.

ETA: While this post was in draft, we had another injury. Earlier, Hunter fell while on the trampoline and landed on his elbow. He came in crying and refusing to let us even look at it. He finally fell asleep on the couch. Well, I went over to check it out after he had been asleep a while and it is swollen, bruised, and full of fluid. Soooo, looks like we'll be headed for the ER first thing in the a.m. I just keep saying, "at least we've met our deductible for this year".